CONAN O’BRIEN 2005

This one I really can’t complain about, because I wouldn’t have hired me either.   But I love both of these pieces. 

“Strunk & White’s Elements of Style” is a much beloved manual for proper grammar, punctuation and writing, most familiar to journalists and nerds (hence my love for the joke).  One of its authors, E.B. White, wrote “Charlotte’s Web.”

And I was completely obsessed with the many, many tragedies suffered by the Boy Scouts of America during the summer of 2005.

The Unabomber and Strunk & White

A federal appeals court has ordered the sale of Unabomber Ted Kaczynski’s personal effects, which include a copy of Strunk & White’s The Elements of Style.

I thought I recognized a little E.B. White in his writing:

“If you think that big government interferes in your life too much NOW, just wait till the government starts regulating the genetic constitution of your children. Such regulation will inevitably follow the introduction of genetic engineering of human beings, because the consequences of unregulated genetic engineering would be disastrous.”

That just reeks of Charlotte’s Web.

“It presumably would be impractical for all people to have electrodes inserted in their heads so that they could be controlled by the authorities.”

This follows Strunk & White’s advice, which tells us “Do not overstate.”  The Unabomber does not say “it’s impossible for all people to have electrodes inserted in their heads.”  He says it’s “impractical” and, for bonus points, uses “presumably” correctly.

“Success will be impossible to resist, because each advance, considered by itself, will appear to be beneficial, or at least the evil involved in making the advance will appear to be beneficial, or at least the evil involved in making the advance will seem to be less than that which would result from not making it.”

I have no complaints with this, other than it’s a bit of a run-on sentence:  “…the evil involved in making the advice will appear to be beneficial” – period.  

Boy Scout Jamboree Safety Report

Given the recent, uh, “unfortunate” events at the Boy Scout Jamboree, the following camp activities have been cancelled:

• The “steal the bear cub” portion of the scavenger hunt
• The railroad track sleepover
• The razor blade swallowing competition
• The “leave your inhaler at home” 20-mile hike
• The West Virginia backwoods canoe trip
• All the hookers